This post started as a Facebook status but turned out to be way too long to post.
For those of you who don't know, I was a victim of bullying for 4 years. At one point it got so bad that I actually was pulled out of school for the first part of my 7th grade year.
After watching Whitney Kropp's story on the news I felt compelled to share my own story.
For those of you who don't know Whitney, she was voted to her homecoming court as a joke by other students. Which is wrong on so many levels. Also, stupid on the students that voted her in because if your going to hurt someone... you don't vote them to homecoming court. DUMB.
Anyhow, my favorite part of this story is that Whitney's community rallied behind her in support of anti-bullying. She had her dress and hair and make-up all donated to her. Katie Couric even gave her a free trip to Disney World!
I'm happy that Whitney took a stand and went to the game that night. She ended up being the center of attention and had people come from all over her state to support her. She also has a Facebook page that has over 142,000 likes and she's been overwhelmed with her own FB requests. Which I'm sure is MANY more than any of those people who voted for her as a joke have.
I hope she continues to be an inspiration to many and a reminder to the cruel, that every person is beautiful and unique and karma is a ... well, you know.
As for me...
It started a few weeks into my 6th grade year, I went to father daughter work day with my dad while my sister went to school. The next day I woke up and got dressed, my mom had taken me shopping that weekend so I was super excited to wear my new shirt to school. I was about to head out the door when the phone rang. My mom answered, it was the principle, he said he confiscated a diary from my sister the day before that was being passed around to the students.
It was mine.
Praying it wasn't, I Immediatly ran upstairs and looked under my mattress where I kept it and it was gone. I just sat on my bed crying. I had been looking for it the night before and I even asked my sister where it was and she told me she didn't know.
But, she did.
I had so many personal things written in that dairy. Definitely not meant for a bunch of 12 year olds. At the time I had thick glasses and huge braces, which didn't exactly help my self confidence.
I was so angry with my sister, I think my Dad knew what I would face for the next few years because he immediately grounded my sister for a year cleaning the horse stalls. My mom did her best to console me that day. She took me shopping, bought me the new Mariah Carey, Honey cd. Nothing helped.
(The only picture I could find of me with my glasses)
I was a mess, I feel for my mom... what could she do?
Looking back, I'm glad the principle called and I didn't walk into school without a clue what had transpired the day before.
I didn't ever want to go back, but the next morning I did.
It was rough. We stood in lines outside before school started and it was a full on attack.
There are things I remember like being labeled 'Copy Cat' because I had 2 of the same shirts and 1 dress that a popular girl had. Which apparently is a crime in the State of Washington. I would have 'Copy Cat' yelled at me while I walked down the halls. So many hurtful things. Most days I went home crying.
By the time I was supposed to start 7th grade my mom pulled both my sister and I out of school to be home schooled. By the time December rolled around that same year my mom put us back in school, hopeful middle school would be better.
Well, it wasn't.
The end of my first day back a girl who I had never seen before in my life came up to me and said, "I heard you called me a b*tch."
I literally took a step back and said, "I don't know you and I've never seen you before until this very moment." When I saw the same group of popular girls gathered together on the other side of the hall huddled staring my direction.
I looked at the girl, pointed to the group of girls behind her and said..."Did they tell you I said that?"
"Yes."
"Figures." I shut my locker and walked straight to the principles office to call my mom. Crying of course.
The last thing I remember is on the bus my 8th grade year on the way home from school. I always kept my book bag on the floor next to me. When I went to get off a girl had taken it and hid it, and watched me for a good 5 minutes look for it. When I found it and her, it was bad news. It was my breaking point. I got off the bus and beat the crap out of her. WHICH I do not condone!
But, she deserved it. ;)
Needless to say she didn't mess with me again.
By the end of my 8th grade year had my 'moment of enlightenment.'
The...Who cares what those other girls think of me! moment.
Things slowly got better after that. It wasn't until the end of my 9th grade year that things were back to 'normal.'
We moved away for my 10th grade year and high school was the complete opposite of middle school. I made it a goal of mine to be nice to everyone. I played soccer, cheered, and was voted class secretary every year, voted Class Clown and like Whitney, voted on Homecoming Court.
Since then I found the love of my life and married him in the Temple. We have a little one on the way and I have traveled all over Europe!
I can look back and say those years changed me. Made me a kinder more understanding person. Not that I'm thanking those 'mean girls,' because I'm not. But I'm grateful for the person I am today because of the many good and bad life experiences I've had.
Like Whitney, we both overcame our struggles with courage. To anyone who is currently or has been a victim of bullying, I want to remind you that you ARE NOT alone. You might not have a community rally behind you like Whitney but, there is always someone who knows and understands and cares about you.
For those of you who don't know, I was a victim of bullying for 4 years. At one point it got so bad that I actually was pulled out of school for the first part of my 7th grade year.
After watching Whitney Kropp's story on the news I felt compelled to share my own story.
"I can just prove all these kids wrong ... I'm not the joke everyone thinks I am."
Anyhow, my favorite part of this story is that Whitney's community rallied behind her in support of anti-bullying. She had her dress and hair and make-up all donated to her. Katie Couric even gave her a free trip to Disney World!
I'm happy that Whitney took a stand and went to the game that night. She ended up being the center of attention and had people come from all over her state to support her. She also has a Facebook page that has over 142,000 likes and she's been overwhelmed with her own FB requests. Which I'm sure is MANY more than any of those people who voted for her as a joke have.
I hope she continues to be an inspiration to many and a reminder to the cruel, that every person is beautiful and unique and karma is a ... well, you know.
As for me...
It started a few weeks into my 6th grade year, I went to father daughter work day with my dad while my sister went to school. The next day I woke up and got dressed, my mom had taken me shopping that weekend so I was super excited to wear my new shirt to school. I was about to head out the door when the phone rang. My mom answered, it was the principle, he said he confiscated a diary from my sister the day before that was being passed around to the students.
It was mine.
Praying it wasn't, I Immediatly ran upstairs and looked under my mattress where I kept it and it was gone. I just sat on my bed crying. I had been looking for it the night before and I even asked my sister where it was and she told me she didn't know.
But, she did.
I had so many personal things written in that dairy. Definitely not meant for a bunch of 12 year olds. At the time I had thick glasses and huge braces, which didn't exactly help my self confidence.
I was so angry with my sister, I think my Dad knew what I would face for the next few years because he immediately grounded my sister for a year cleaning the horse stalls. My mom did her best to console me that day. She took me shopping, bought me the new Mariah Carey, Honey cd. Nothing helped.
I was a mess, I feel for my mom... what could she do?
Looking back, I'm glad the principle called and I didn't walk into school without a clue what had transpired the day before.
I didn't ever want to go back, but the next morning I did.
It was rough. We stood in lines outside before school started and it was a full on attack.
There are things I remember like being labeled 'Copy Cat' because I had 2 of the same shirts and 1 dress that a popular girl had. Which apparently is a crime in the State of Washington. I would have 'Copy Cat' yelled at me while I walked down the halls. So many hurtful things. Most days I went home crying.
By the time I was supposed to start 7th grade my mom pulled both my sister and I out of school to be home schooled. By the time December rolled around that same year my mom put us back in school, hopeful middle school would be better.
Well, it wasn't.
The end of my first day back a girl who I had never seen before in my life came up to me and said, "I heard you called me a b*tch."
I literally took a step back and said, "I don't know you and I've never seen you before until this very moment." When I saw the same group of popular girls gathered together on the other side of the hall huddled staring my direction.
I looked at the girl, pointed to the group of girls behind her and said..."Did they tell you I said that?"
"Yes."
"Figures." I shut my locker and walked straight to the principles office to call my mom. Crying of course.
The last thing I remember is on the bus my 8th grade year on the way home from school. I always kept my book bag on the floor next to me. When I went to get off a girl had taken it and hid it, and watched me for a good 5 minutes look for it. When I found it and her, it was bad news. It was my breaking point. I got off the bus and beat the crap out of her. WHICH I do not condone!
But, she deserved it. ;)
Needless to say she didn't mess with me again.
By the end of my 8th grade year had my 'moment of enlightenment.'
The...Who cares what those other girls think of me! moment.
Things slowly got better after that. It wasn't until the end of my 9th grade year that things were back to 'normal.'
We moved away for my 10th grade year and high school was the complete opposite of middle school. I made it a goal of mine to be nice to everyone. I played soccer, cheered, and was voted class secretary every year, voted Class Clown and like Whitney, voted on Homecoming Court.
Since then I found the love of my life and married him in the Temple. We have a little one on the way and I have traveled all over Europe!
Life is good.
I can look back and say those years changed me. Made me a kinder more understanding person. Not that I'm thanking those 'mean girls,' because I'm not. But I'm grateful for the person I am today because of the many good and bad life experiences I've had.
Like Whitney, we both overcame our struggles with courage. To anyone who is currently or has been a victim of bullying, I want to remind you that you ARE NOT alone. You might not have a community rally behind you like Whitney but, there is always someone who knows and understands and cares about you.
I had no clue about all this!!! I know that was so hard on you. You would never know any of that looking at you today....you have come so far!!! Love you, Ami!!
ReplyDeleteI had the same EXACT thing happen to me with a girl in Middle School accusing me of calling her a "B" and I didn't even know her name until after that. But I too was harassed by her for years before I moved and she only lived a few houses down from me. I ca honestly say when I go visit my sister I am always afraid to run into her at the store or something. Way to show courage!!! Miss you!
ReplyDelete